Power with Purpose!

It's been a tough few weeks. I've dealt with heartaches, pains, troubles, betrayal, anger, frustration, and doubt. I have also had to deal with personal sin for which I repented to God and confessed to my wife. Even so, guilt, shame, and all the trash that plagues the thoughts of a “righteous man” when he falls were there at the very fore-front of my mind for the better part of a week. It took God speaking to me to get past the inertia of all this mess and get back on track.

God has never spoken to me in an audible voice but, when he does speak to me, I know it. He spoke to me on June 14th, 1982 when I repented before him in tears. He spoke to me in August of 1993 when I answered His call to complete the first works through water baptism. He definitely spoke to me in September of 1993 when He filled me with His Spirit! And over the last 17 years God has taught me how He speaks, even though I still sometimes forget how to listen.

This latest ordeal did what ordeals normally do to me – they drove me to my knees in prayer (This is part of how I know the Spirit resides within. I usually run from trouble and pain, but God encourages me to stay obedient.). Like a sailor on a hobie cat, I hung myself way out there, tightening the sheet and hiking the beam of the boat until it almost flips overs. It's a risk sailors take to get the most speed out of their craft. I hung myself out on the edge of my prayers; earnestly but passionately letting God know that I was at the end of my rope. I could not go any further and all of this 'mess' was about to tip me over and put me in the brine.

The Lord did not send an angel (or anyone else for that matter), to speak words of comfort, pet my ego, or pat me on the back and give me a cookie. Thankfully, He also did not answer some of the prayers that I prayed (Someone out there knows exactly what I am talking about.). Instead, He lead my to 1 Kings 19...

In this passage, Elijah had just come out of a great victory – and stepped straight into a world of trouble. He ran for his life and then parked himself under a juniper tree and started feeling sorry for himself. God sent messengers to Elijah to feed him. No words or comfort, no “Aww! It'll be okay!” In other words, God did not feed Elijah's self pity, He just fed his body because He had work for Elijah to do, so His answer to Elijah was, “Get up and get back to work! You have a long journey ahead of you and your next task is to go and anoint some folks to be king so let's get started!

I sank back in my chair and gave thanks to God. There was no beam of bright light, no fanfare of heavenly trumpets, and no pacifier. God had just finished telling me that there was a lot of work to do and I had better get about His business. He “spoke” the truth in plain an simple terms that even I could understand.

My emotions are still raw and the struggle to keep them under control is still fresh in my walk this week. But I know God has spoken, so I will do what I have always done when He speaks: I'll pack up my troubles, post-mark them to Jesus, try real hard not to take them back, and move on for God. Sometimes power with purpose is just that simple.

I have been reading and studying about "finding the work the I would love to do." My current job is flowing in a direction that has the potential to pull me away from my relationship with God. Because I have one foot in the job, and the other in the desire to serve God with my gifts and talents - I feel that I am being pulled in two different directions.

It reminds me of the HAL9000 computer in "2001: A Space Odyssey." We learn in the sequel, "2010: The Year We Make Contact," that HAL was behaving and acting strangely because he was given instructions regarding his duties that conflicted with the values and attributes that he was programmed with.

I have been in the IT field for almost 15 years now. I am well aware that a lot of software problems and "freeze-ups" occur because a computer doesn't know how to process something because it is either broken, or conflicts with the computer's basic set of instructions for doing it's job.

I don't believe God put me here to live a confused, powerless life that does not help anyone. The process of "finding my niche" has been a struggle. At times, my self doubt and lack of confidence has really paralyzed me. However, with God's help and the support of my family, friends, folks like David Wood, Dan Miller, Dave Ramsey, and the multitude of other good people that are "here to help," I believe that success is just around the corner.

2010: The Year I Make Contact...

Hey folks; a couple of quick questions...

Have you overcome depression and/or fear? Share your story. How did you do it? How has God helped you?

As always, thanks for your prayers and support.

As I prepare for a great Easter service this morning I take stock over the last couple of days:

* I wasn't betrayed by a friend.

* I wasn't falsely arrested.

* I wasn't subjected to a kangaroo court and found guilty of a trumped up charge.

* I wasn't ridiculed in public and made a mockery of by an occupying army before my own people.

* I wasn't handed off between governments because they were playing "pass the buck" on who should murder me.

* I wasn't humiliated and scoffed at by an entire city of people who; just a few days before, welcomed me into their city with a parade.

* I wasn't scourged and beaten within an inch of my life.

* I wasn't hung on a cross to die a public, shameful death.

But the One who did - rose again and took with Him the keys of death, hell, and the grave: And He did it for you and for me.

I won't complain - Happy Easter.

There are a host of angels poised to deliver messages to each and every one of us: and a God and Father ready to take His rightful place in our hearts today. If we will set our hearts and minds on Him and his will - taking the freedom of choice given to us and laying aside - submitting our whole self to Him and becoming nothing, that He might be everything.

He knows all things actual and possible. Let Him have His way in your life today and He will give you - Power with Purpose.